The completely delusional guide to life

I admit I have a soft spot for young infants. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Sometimes I look at my neighbour’s toddler and feel like making her my goddaughter.

The shy girl

Today I found out that I didn’t need to do that anymore. My extended family just got a little more extended 5 days ago.

And so we made the journey all the way down to the west, to visit my uncle , my aunite and their new born baby.

Move out troops!

I think at this point of time I should elaborate a bit on my uncle Paul. He got to know his wife in myanmar during his business stint there.My grandma wasn’t too happy about it at first, but I suppose she got used to it. Normally my sister and I call her Aunite Papa. I know it sounds like Aunite Dad, but that’s just the way things are.

Australia, New Zealand…

Apparently, my uncle Paul hasn’t really settled on a proper name yet but for the sake of this post we’ll just name him Dalkin, the very first name he came up with. I told him jokingly when he spelt the name that it sounded like Daikin, a well respected brand of air conditoiners.

” It’s the name of an Irish Saint you know?,” he said indignantly.

Well, at the very least he had not planned on naming him Nelson Tan. This poor guy in my primary school class was not spared the “Nao Sheng Dan” (chicken lay egg) joke even on the last day of school.

Judging from their expressions , I don’t know who were happier. The baby’s parents or my parents.

Recounting the times she was in KK women’s hospital- must have been happy times.

I was supposed to take truck loads of pictures for our family’s viewing pleasure but superstitions about cameras taking sleeping subjects superceded me. Something about souls and cameras (cough) . But boy did that little guy sleep alot.The family’s new bundle of joy even fell asleep while drinking his milk, which took all of an hour. Yes. He’s a guy all right. I suppose my uncle thought it was going to be a girl because his cot was basically totally pink. Even his mittens.

But the thing that struck me most was how tiny his hands were. He looked so fragile I was afraid if I touched him he might burst- like a bubble. And the way he burped after drinking his milk. That was cute. It sounded more like a hiccup to me though .

One of the very few times I caught him awake.

The little guy has got an army of his own taking care of him. There’s the nanny who tends to him. There’s the maid, who cleans up after him. There’s his parents. And there’s…

Erm. That’s about it. But still, four people is a bit too extravagant.

Just how extravagant exactly?

Even his bottles are kept in my uncle’s highly prized wine refrigerator

Proud, happy parents

Come next week, his parents are going to bring him to a fortune teller to get his name. But I already know his future. And I don’t need no cockatoo.

The little guy is going to have a good life.

A few weeks ago I saw this at Eastpoint.

Ron Korb in Sembawang

And today I went to Eastpoint to catch him live.

All truth be told. I had no idea who this guy was. All I knew was that he had an extra large (cough) flute. And I wanted to give him a listen. We are after all, professional bandsman.

And as luck would have it , my sandals became a pair of flip-flops. Literally. Apparently the bottom sole came apart which made every step I took mildly annoying. Not to mention the looks I got when the bottom sole slaps against the top one. Bata came to the rescue and I bought the exact same pair. Just don’t ask me why.

Eastpoint never looked so crowded before today. Usually the Eastpoint I know is about as dead as shopping centres get.The only stores that seems to make enough money to sustain themselves are the Best denki Stores and NTUC fairprice. Which is why I like it here. Peaceful and quiet.

Even after my business with Bata, the stage was still empty. No host playing mind-numbing games. No flashing lights. Just some chinese sounding music (which I later learn is actually one of the tracks in Ron’s CD) and a Booth set up beside the stage.

Half an hour and still no sign

The weird thing about this event is that just in front of the stage was a Watsons sale.

I don’t really know what Watsons has to do with the concert but I’m pretty sure their business was affected. The minute Ron came out, tupperwares were dropped, Children seated and the spotlight followed Ron like his shadow.

The first thing Ron said was in heavily-accented Chinese.

” Da Jia Hao”. Hello everyone.

Salegirls treated to a free show.

The canadian born flautist then interacted with the emcee who asked him about how many flutes he could play. Then came the mind-blooging answer.

“117 “

And he left it at that. I didn’t even know there were that many kinds of flutes.

The first song he charmed the audience with was a song which has a vague Chinese New Year feel to it. Using a Di zi( Chinese flute) look-alike he played this piece with all the grace of a swan. Ok. He and the accompaniment background track played with all the grace of a swan.

The seond song I had no recollection of because I was running around trying to get a good shot.

The third song that caught my attention was the Japanese themed Okaido. Sounding like a theme song from some Samurai movie it basically just sounds very japanese.

Playing to the tune of more moola

The fourth song…

Wait.. there was no fourth song.

I left after the third for band practice, but I assume he must have played at least six because when my bus arrived 15 minutes later, he was still playing. Or was it the DJ?

Don’t play play.

Conclusion. Lose the Watsons sale. Get a live band. If not, for free, this is pretty good entertainment. What’s more if you buy the CD from the booth, you get free tickets to his performance at DXO and get this, a bottle of body spray.

That’s quality for money.